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To
The Woman Who Did Nothing But Sacrifice
“Shoo bidon fiyeh”, those are the words that the media have
spread through every way possible showing the pain that May Chidiac is
feeling. But those are also the words that have been echoing for the
past two days in my head. Being May's nephew I know all the news about
her condition before anyone else. Yet, sometimes I feel like the words
I hear are not just words, but daggers being pushed and twisted in my
heart repeatedly.
I would just like to answer my aunt's question regarding what
do these murderers want from her. They want her life, her fame and
influence. They want to take all
that away from her, but they failed miserably. I hope that they are
watching the news, and seeing how my family is dealing with this
situation. I hope they know that by attacking May, they have attacked
each and every one of us alone, and they have just unleashed an
uncontrollable wave of fury in the peoples' hearts and minds starting
from her family members. I for one, during these times cannot but feel
rage and anger towards those who planned and executed this
assassination attempt which was foiled by the hands of God himself.
And even though I believe that the survival of my aunt was a miracle,
and that God himself teaches us to forgive and to forget. I am unable
this time to forgive and ever forget
what these terroritsts have done to my aunt. They tried to wipe
her smile of the TV screen every morning and every evening, as they
have tried to wipe the smile of my family's face. They have failed
miserably, and I hope that they will someday suffer in the same way
that my aunt is suffering right now, untill she regains her full
strength.
To my aunt who has never walked away from me once in her life.
To the woman that has considered me her son and not like her son. To
the woman who has never bent her head to anyone as long as she was
right, no matter what the price, and this time the price was high. To
the woman that taught me to never bend my head to anyone as long as I
am right. To the woman who never abandoned God once in her life. To
the woman who refused to become a puppet to the dirty game of
politics. To the woman who always rushed to the hospital when I had an
accident, and those were quite a few times. To the woman who went and
bought me a Big Mac at
12 o'clock
at night just because I felt like have one during my stay at the
hospital. To the woman who let me borrow her Range for my prom. To the
woman who cried and prayed until she found out that I arrived safely
in the United States. To the woman who sacrificed a lot for her
family. To the woman who
sacrificed part of herself for her beloved country, and never thought
once of leaving.
You cannot imagine how many times I picture you climbing into
your car and then seeing it explode. The same incident plays back in
my head over and over again because I keep wishing that I could have
stopped it. I still picture you lieng in your bed, all bandaged up
with the tubes running all over the place, feeling the pain that you
feel and unable to speak. This is something I do not wish to see, and
I sometimes question why God always puts the faithful through tests
like these, while people who have no faith are kept untouched
throughout their lives. I can only feel the distance between us right
now, wondering if you know that I doing nothing these days but think
about you. I feel so helpless right now, but the Lebanese people have
shown me how dear you are to them and through them I feel stronger,
because I know that they are there because they love you. I sincerely
hope that these terrorists know what they are up againstm because
there is nothing more dangerous than the people's wrath.
These terrorists wanted your voice, but God ,the Lebanese
people, and I will not allow them to take your voice, because if God
is with you than who is against you . I certainly know that you have a
place in heaven along with all the Lebanese patriots who have fallen
for their country, but your time has still yet to come.
You have always been my source of inspiration, as you have
always guided me through life. They may have silenced you for a month
, but the Lebanese people are there to take your place, and fight for
you on the streets, in the civilized way you always thought
appropriate. To my beautiful and shining aunt, you have never been in
my thoughts and prayers as much as you have been in these last couple
of days, and I apologize for my selfishness, because I know I have
always been in your thoughts and prayers. The picture that you gave me
before I traveled to remember you is hanging on my wall all I know
need is one with you next to me.
Fadi Baaklini
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