When she skied into the finish area, relieved but not especially happy, Chirine Njeim was telling herself just what Kyle Hopkins would have said after she nearly careened off the super-G course in the Olympics.
She hears the voice of her boyfriend and coach, who never complained about the brain tumor that was steadily killing him and who always delivered an honest critique of a skier's performance.
"He never put sugar on things," Njeim said, smiling. "I'm sure he made a lot of girls cry."
They were together during the 2006 Olympics in Italy, athletically and romantically involved: the skier who came to Utah from Beirut and the former U.S. Ski Team coach. In the middle of the next four-year cycle came the stunning diagnosis, followed by the seven months while he was dying and she daily was attending to him.
In Salt Lake City one recent morning, two weeks before she would carry Lebanon's flag in the Opening Ceremony, Njeim (pronounced Na-Jem) relived those trying days. Her hands remained stuck to the cup of tea on the table as she spoke intently about Hopkins' attitude.
"He never once complained," she said. "He always believed he was going to make it."
Njeim, now 25, stayed with Hopkins throughout the summer of 2007 in Boston, where he was being treated. When they came back to Heber City, she would attend classes at the University of Utah and hurry home each day, never knowing what would happen while she was away.
Ute ski teammate Chelsea Laswell described Njeim's display of devotion as "amazing to watch," citing how she didn't complain, either.
Soon after Hopkins died that December, Njeim was back on the slopes, competing in college events. And Saturday, when she skied for her native Lebanon in the Olympics for the third time, she was analyzing her own performance just as Hopkins would have.
When she skied way wide during an early turn, she said, "I just looked up, like, 'Oooh, where am I going?' "
Her detour down the super-G course at Whistler Creekside was part of a journey that began when Njeim was skiing in Lebanon as a 3-year-old. By 9, she was racing, having become enchanted by Olympic star Alberto Tomba on television. At 14, she went to France to further pursue the sport. At 16, preparing to compete for Lebanon in the 2002 Olympics, then three years away, she discovered Rowmark Ski Academy in Salt Lake City.
Initially speaking only French, she adapted to the school, while developing her skiing ability. In a Junior Nationals race in Alaska, she stood on a medals podium with Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso, now starring in the Olympics. Njeim is entered in three events in Whistler, beginning with her 37th-place finish among 53 contestants in the super-G.
"She's a legitimate competitor, not someone from a random country who got into the Olympics by filling out a piece of paper," Ute coach Eli Brown said of his former All-American.
Last week, when Njeim told another Olympic ski team's coach where she is from, he replied, likely picturing a Middle East desert, "And you're skiing?"
The response is not much different in her home country. Her parents (her father is a chemist in Beirut) have mostly funded her skiing pursuits in the absence of federation support, while she has worked toward graduation in May in human development at the University of Utah and trained for the Olympics. Instead of a Lebanese team uniform, she's wearing a Ute ski suit, while going against the world's best skiers.
"To stand out in that crowd, to compete, I can't even imagine," said Laswell, who's watching her former teammate ski.
And in two more races with Vonn and the rest this week, Njeim will carry Hopkins' spirit down the slopes.
"I try to move on," she said. "I can't just sit there and wish things were different. This is life."
